Before I came along in 1980, my mum had already lived a busy and exciting life.
Mum was born not long after VE Day in 1945, but never met her dad as he was tragically shot down over the North Sea when Grandma was 5 months pregnant with my mum. From reading my grandfather’s war diaries, it’s clear that mum inherited many characteristics from him, despite never having met him.
Mum was head-strong and knew what she wanted from an early age. She left school aged 16 and went to work for Lloyds Bank in Hitchin (her own parents had met while they both worked at Lloyds Bank). Mum, being the intelligent and determined woman she was, was promoted to Head Cashier but told she couldn’t get a pay rise or take the banking exams as she was a woman. From these experiences, mum developed a strong sense of justice and fairness. At 18, mum moved from the quiet village of Stotfold to the city lights of London. This was in 1963.
Mum moved into a flat in Kilburn, Flat 6 as it was affectionately known. Mum made good friends for life in this flat. In fact, mum fully embraced the Swinging 60s, from what I have heard! Stories of parties most weekends where mum was the life and soul, walking all the way home to Kilburn from Trafalgar Square on New Year’s Eve after watching the fireworks, eating out at French Brasseries when they first opened in London.
This time was also mum’s political education as many of her friends were in the Young Socialists – after all, this was London, in the 1960s and Harold Wilson was Prime Minister. Mum was working for an American company which sold land in the Bahamas, but she still went on the anti-Vietnam War protests outside the American Embassy. It was a surprise when her American boss bumped into her there on one occasion! Luckily, he was also protesting!
In the 1970s mum moved into a flat in Barnet, a new chapter in her life. Here she joined an amateur dramatic society called the Brookland Players and once again made friends for life. Ringing to enquire about the drama group, mum found herself on the phone to Sue. They met up that very evening and I think talked way into the early hours of the morning!
In 1976, mum met my dad and eventually moved into the house in Wild Hill in April 1979. They married in December 1979, and I was born in June 1980.
It can’t have been easy for my parents when I was born, when attitudes to disability or to ‘difference’ were less positive than they are today. As many people here know, mum would not just take an answer without asking questions. She certainly would not take ‘no’ or ‘we can’t’ as answers. Even in 1980, when she was told that I would never walk, mum refused to believe the haughty orthopaedic consultant. She continually asked questions and demanded answers. This wasn’t what you did way back then. But just like she did way back when she worked at Lloyds Bank, she didn’t just give up, she got second opinions, she constantly asked questions.
Those behaviours can be seen as stubborn or difficult, but she did it because she wanted the best for me. She wanted a fair outcome.
I guess that’s what drove her ambitions in politics. She wanted to see everyone having the same opportunities regardless of where they live and their background. For me as a 12-year-old, however, when mum was first elected to the Borough Council in 1992, the experience was mortifying. Mum stood in Hatfield Central and my school, the girls’ school in Hatfield,
was in that ward. My classmates bringing in her leaflet with her photo on it was just so embarrassing at that age!
The other downside of election time was leaflet delivering. We always had to deliver leaflets in Essendon. There were quite a few dog owners in Essendon and mum had a knack of knowing exactly which houses they were in, then making me deliver the leaflets to that house so I would have negotiate a barking dog the other side of the letter box!
I have some other fabulous memories with my mum too. Mum loved good food and eating out. Sadly, I have inherited mum’s expensive tastes in fine dining! On a trip to Paris, when I was 8, I went from being quite a fussy eater to devouring wonderful French cuisine. Mum encouraged me to try escargots and I discovered how much delicious food I had missed out on!
We have certainly eaten some fabulous meals together. The most recent being only in June this year when we went to Tom Kerridge’s pub in Marlow, The Hand and Flowers. I am so pleased we got to go as mum loved it. The food was exceptional and the whole dining experience was amazing.
Mum was also a very good cook in her own right. Having grown up in the countryside herself with access to fresh vegetables and game, mum introduced me to hearty pheasant casseroles at Christmas time and rich boeuf bourguignon. One of my favourite times of the year was January or February when mum used to make her own Seville orange marmalade. She would laboriously cut up all the orange peel by hand as, inevitably, the slicer on the food processor would always break. But the smell of citrus and sweet as it permeated the whole house was just wonderful. She nearly always made the best marmalade.
Beyond these culinary memories, mum has always encouraged me to continue to learn for my own benefit, to take an interest in the world around me and to learn about other people. She never once stopped me from trying things out and discovering the world. I know she hated it when I moved away to university, but she also loved visiting me when I was living overseas.
It is exactly because of mum that I am incredibly independent and ambitious. She has instilled in me that being a woman or being disabled are not barriers to achieving your potential. Mum has also taught me that you can use these experiences to benefit other people, to affect change and make the world a little bit better for someone else.
Mum was very hardworking and didn’t really stop working until she wasn’t re-elected as a local councillor this year. Even when I was a small child, mum worked from home. Then she worked in a school as the School Secretary for many years. Finally finishing her paid career, working for the Labour MP for Welwyn Hatfield from 1997 to 2005. Even when mum retired, she then applied successfully to be a magistrate in Hertfordshire, she was a school governor and a county councillor for 4 years. If that is not a life to be proud of, I don’t know what is!
I can honestly say that I am very proud of my mum. I am also very lucky to have had a marvellous mum who has left such a huge legacy on the lives of so many people. While I will always see her as my mum, and appreciate everything she did for me, I now realise how much she also did for other people. She really was a very special person and that’s why today is a celebration mum’s life – a time to remember good times, share stories and to celebrate an amazing person.